


in the middle of your picture

by obsessivelymoody



Series: phan bingo 2018 [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, MI5 - Freeform, Online Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 16:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessivelymoody/pseuds/obsessivelymoody
Summary: Dan is an MI5 agent and Phil is one of the citizens he's assigned to watch over. They like each other, a bit.





	in the middle of your picture

**Author's Note:**

> Written for phandomficfests bingo fest under the "online romance" prompt.

The tail of the cat sticker curls into the cat’s body, signalling that it must be time to change it. 

Phil pushes the tail back up against his computer’s webcam, frowning as he rubs it, trying to get it to stick again. 

He’s probably got a sheet of new stickers tucked into a drawer somewhere, but he’s far too comfortably wrapped in his duvet right now to bother getting up, and his current Google deep dive is far too interesting to pause. He makes a mental note to try not to do anything too weird for the sake of whichever agent is watching him right now. 

Phil tabs open a few more pages, skimming through an article on a new species of dinosaur found in South Africa when his encrypted Skype chat pings with a message from Dan. 

_**Dan** , 23:47_  
_trying to hide from me lester?_

_**Phil** , 23:47_  
_Always_  
_You should have told me you were on the night shift_

_**Dan** , 23:48_  
_i think i did over dinner last night_  
_it's september i'm officially on night duty for the last third until january_  
_night shift's more fun anyway_

_**Phil** , 23:49_  
_Oh yeah?_  
_Why's that?_

_**Dan** , 23:50_  
_phil_  
_come on_

_**Phil** , 23:51_  
_Do you really hate your job that much Dan_  
_Seriously one day someone is going to walk in and you're going to be hard and stretched open with your trousers at your ankles_

_**Dan** , 23:52_  
_fuck_  
_phil_

_**Phil** , 23:53_  
_How are you going to explain the lube in your desk or the toys in your bag if someone finds them_

_**Dan** , 23:54_  
_you're a dick_  
_you know what that does to me you ass_

_**Phil** , 23:54_  
_Do I?_

_**Dan** , 23:55_  
_are you going to take that sticker off and let me see you or what_

_**Phil** , 23:55_  
_No I'm busy_

_**Dan** , 23:56_  
_…_  
_you know i'm looking at a mirror of your screen right_  
_you know i can see you're reading an article about dinosaurs_

_**Phil** , 23:57_  
_Yeah exactly_  
_I'm busy_

_**Dan** , 23:58_  
_you're so fucking annoying_

_**Phil** , 23:58_  
_Just do your job Daniel_

_**Dan** , 23:59_  
_don't wanna_

_**Phil** , 23:59_  
_Too bad_

_**Dan** , 00:00_  
_it'd be better if i was there with you_

_**Phil** , 00:00_  
_Maybe_

_**Dan** , 00:01_  
_“maybe”_  
_all you want to do is cuddle i know you_

_**Phil** , 00:01_  
_It's a shame we're breaking the law_  
_No cuddles for criminals :(_

_**Dan** , 00:02_  
_do you constantly have to take the piss phil_

_**Phil** , 00:02_  
_Yes_

_**Dan** , 00:02_  
_i'll report you_

_**Phil** , 00:03_  
_You're so smart Dan_  
_Maybe when your boss arrests us and puts us in prison we'll be cellmates_  
_That way we can act out our wildest domestic fantasies together_  
_And not have to spend a penny of our savings on that flat_

_**Dan** , 00:04_  
_listen i'll go down as the most iconic MI5 agent_

_**Phil** , 00:04_  
_Dumbest MI5 agent_

_**Dan** , 00:05_  
_are you in some kind of mood tonight_  
_you're awfully sassy_

 _ **Phil** , 00:05_  
_Maybe I'm just so cuddle deprived I've snapped_  
_And hey I can be sassy!_

_**Dan** , 00:06_  
_sure, you sap_  
_i wish i could be there for you_

_**Phil** , 00:06_  
_One day_

_**Dan** , 00:07_  
_one day_  
_now before you make me vom did we decide on indian or chinese for next saturday i can't remember_

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the fbi agent watching you memes. 
> 
> Title is taken from "All I Need" by Radiohead. 
> 
> You can like/reblog this on [tumblr](https://obsessivelymoody.tumblr.com/post/179157068352/in-the-middle-of-your-picture-rating-g-word) if you want


End file.
